The Funeral

It's only the funeral
This saturday
I died long ago?

Decorating my tomb
Like an Egyptian pharaoh...
All my belongings saved.

The menu has been planned,
Guest list ready...
Hoping no one bothers the decay!

This brings forth a question...
Why is death so despised and life cherished?
Why can't 'happily ever after' be my death?

Why do we fear darkness?
How can it be evil?
Is it nothing but a complete void?

We all want to fill ourselves...
But our hearts a black hole
Nothing survives, nothing escapes.

So being null is my goal...
But how to reach I have hardly a clue.
My words all futile, I'm grasping in the dark!

A day at a time

I finally reach my goal
Because I'm just floating
A day at a time...

Time just flows
I'm living, I'm breathing
A day at a time...

Back in my sacred zone
Buffered from the world
A day at a time...

There's still so much left
Even without you I find
Every day at a time...

Photo by Harsh Kadam

Dazed and Numb

And so it happened,

I don't miss you any more...

Behind the anger and confusion,

I have become dazed and numb!

The invisible thread that kept tied,

Under all the strain is now torn.

We are no longer under the same sky,

Mine is stormy dark, while yours cleared...

But its needed... I need the rain to wash me,

While you need the bright sunshine to roam free.

I become more like a plant, roots digging deeper

While you a free animal, explore and discover!

Then does it really matter?

All barriers are only physical...

One beautiful star lit night

The restless deer will get lost,

In the densest dark forest...

Where no one ever tread before!

Then looking for shelter

In the mysterious woods,

Find a glorious tree

Standing way apart...

Beneath its gentle branches,

Feel a familiar breeze...

And fall asleep

To the whispering lullaby.

And she would dream,

She'd remember...

The sapling she played with

As a kid and forgot ever since!

But when she'd wake,

The tree would be like every other

In the sparkling sunlight...

You'd forget me and move on.

Never to look back again,

And I'd heave a sigh of relief...

Stretch my arms in the Sun,

And sing my mellow song to the wind...

Photo by Amrita Senapati

In my dreams

In my dreams
I see you a lot clearer.
I see you unmasked,
Not clouded by my desires...

In my dreams, you speak
You tell me the truth;
While in reality the silence
Between us gets deeper.

Slowly reality
Loses its meaning...
Who am I? Where?
What am I here for?

But in my dreams
There is a reason,
I have a purpose...
I know you'd come!

Someday, not too far away...
I'll escape this grey reality,
And reach my world of dreams...
For that, Death you are welcome.

It's raining in our IDC campus... Photo by batch-mate Swati

I am

I am
What I am
My insanity
Is mine
It breaks me
Yet keeps me going
All the same

Darkness falls

Window

I was looking out of the window,
After our basics electronics class...
It was long since I'd given up studies
Except passing semester exams...

There were shreds of paper,
Some old photos someone had torn,
And thrown out of the window...
Some still dangling on the parapet.

I attended class only to get attendance,
My usual seat was at the back corner...
Head down, mind lost in jarring thoughts;
As I'd watch you snuggling up with your boyfriend.

It wasn't always like this before...
Even few months ago, we were great friends,
You'd even wait patiently, while I'd set up
My drum kit for college band rehearsals...

But times change, so do people...
And before I knew you pushed me away,
I was begging and pleading for you to stay...
Then after a failed suicide, I quietened down.

The last few semesters in college
Went in a buzz, we both avoided one another
You knew I wasn't taking it well,
So there wasn't another word uttered...

Recession hit after we graduated,
Our job offers got delayed...
After many quiet days idling at home
I decided to finish drawing my comics...

There seemed no hope anywhere,
Lost and dazed I gave CEED exam...
And viola! I hit the bulls eye!
Series of procedures then IDC admission.

But what was even more strange,
You became a GATE topper too...
And joined Masters in Computer Science
In same IIT Bombay campus!

It felt so weird...
But we didn't talk much again,
In spite of living in same campus...
For the next couple of years!

But it feels good to know
You are doing so well now,
A respected lecturer in our old college...
And a busy home-maker at Kolkata.

Times change, so do people...
And what was so painful in the past,
Now gives me a few good laughs!
I find peace, and my faith is restored.

myself 3rd year engg college at computer lab!