Off course

Been always off course
Life never a straight line...
Skewed and unjustified;
While my profession is to align.

With grids and lines
I bind my work...
While in real life,
Everything runs amok!

Order and symmetry
Pixel by pixel,
Designing per hour
Is what I sell.

While my real existence
Finds meaning behind;
Clumsy brush strokes
And iconoclastic lines.

But between the two traits
There are no conflicts!
Both, sides of same coin;
For one the other exists.

Chaos and order
Are not too different...
The thin line between
Is ultimate attainment!

Nobody

Doing some soul searching
It suddenly dawned upon me;
That I'm actually a nobody
Not to you, myself or anyone else.

Because what do I really have?
All my successes were situational!
So were my failures too,
Without my luck I'd be nowhere.

What about my thoughts
And my deeper feelings?
Well they were delusional
And too fleeting to worth...

Same with my relationships,
All too messed to make any sense.
Even my body is nothing but
A frail boat on turbulent waters!

What do I have? What makes me?
And the answer is nothing
I'm nobody, neither to you...
Or myself.

Photo by Soumya Kanti Paul

I found you

I finally found you!
But you were at a distance...
You have outgrown me,
I am no longer your plaything.

You have grown up now
Found your self, your pride.
Yet you didn't forget me
You answered my call

By not answering...
By hiding behind.
And you ran away,
I know its my fault!

I didn't understand you back then
I was too young, too immature!
But please do know it for sure
It was because of you that I finally grew up.

And I find you again...
But you are still at a distance.
Memories flash past me...
When my eyes open, you are gone!

Photo by Soumya Kanti Paul

Colour Blind

Yes. I'm colour blind.
Because I don't see
The difference,
Between blue and green!

The two colors...
So similar in saturation,
Yet worlds apart
In hues and moods.

Blue is regal and strong
But also most melancholy.
Green earthy and humble,
The colour of life - happy!

Different, yet they are
Not in conflict,
For its the light from sky
That nurtures plants.

Being color blind,
My palette gets mixed...
My sky looks green,
Trees with blotches of blue!

But these external mistakes
Are still forgivable...
What happens within
Is beyond comprehension!

My moods swing from
the melancholy blue,
To the fullness of green...
And I froth like the teal ocean!

A mile and an inch

For you I walked a mile
On jagged uphill slope,
With back breaking baggage.
Yet you didn't have the heart
To move an inch...

I wrote a hundred letters,
A sea of words...
Twisting and turning ideas
Till they meant no more!
Yet you kept silent...

Now when I look back,
I just smile... thankful
That you didn't change.
Thus we remained parallel lines
Never to meet again!

Then I was lost, I got dazed;
Yet I found wild flowers
In the thorny maze...
And the princess on her tower
Locked remained...

Looking down at the
World below, what did she see?
The mighty soldiers?
The blissful village?
Or was she just looking for me?

The Act

It's all an act don't you see?
We are only actors in the scene of life...
So what's the point of all needless anger?
Unless you see that the anger is an act too!

We are all playing roles we are good at
But its only a role, nothing more;
God made his own casting decisions
Let's just stick around till the play ends.

Then we'll all go back, remove make up...
The hero and the villain would chat over drinks,
And laugh at each other's mistakes...
Then say with joy, our play was a success!

I see

I see a narrow dark lane
There's barely any light

Huge tidal waves
Washing me away

Falling into an abyss
Which has no end

And sometimes I see you
Whispering few words

But hard to recollect
When I wake up at dawn

And I sleep again
This time I'm at an empty beach

Hearing the ocean roar
And the wind blows my hair

A faint shadow at a distance
Maybe its you, but doesn't matter

Because I'm here
I am now... I am... I