Remembering

I looked into my cupboard
Searching for something else
But it was not what I found
Instead I found my old shirt

Which I used to always wear
Numerous years back in time
Adored its color way too much
It felt like my second skin worn

I've grown up, it fits no more
Yet it's far too dear to discard
And sadly I realize that is how 
I feel remembering you now 

Dawn to Dusk

I'm sitting at dusk, recalling dawn
So much passed with me all along

In dawn when Sun had first shone
With enthusiasm, fervently I strode

I failed to notice the cogs in my way
I tripped and got hurt to lurch ahead

Resting upon adjacent foliage shade
I recuperated till I was strong again

Slowly as the Sun rays lost its glare
I was walking again in careful pace

I reached on time to my cozy abode
At dusk, impressions of dawn arose

The world vs me

When younger I thought
The world was so wrong
And I was completely right
But I was so far from truth

I grew older, doubts crept in
World seemed to work well
Maybe I was one mistaken
The mess was just my fault

Now as I mature and wisen
I realize that nothing is right
Nor anything really is wrong
The world just is, and so I am

Letter to God 1

I've been writing many poems
For so long that I lost all track
But no one really reads them
This blog is so dead and done

So I decided, instead of poems
I'll write letters instead to God
Dear Jesus, Krishna, Buddha
Mother Durga, Mary and Sita

I'm grateful you gave me life
Introduced me to this world
But I did mess up everything
I'm still alive for your grace

The world is really complex
I never seem to get firm grip
But when everything changes
Nothing does last to hold on

Someday I hope to fathom
The totality of the universe
Overcome my shallow self
Unify with your presence

Last man standing

I'm the last man standing

Not too sturdy, a bit frail

It's past a decade since

I was in my first band

Every member changed

But I still held my place

Till band became solo act

And no listener was intact

Still in my dreams I can feel

Pulse of stepping up on stage

Deafening roar of audience

Now gives way to silence

Once inane cheesy lyrics

To writing lines of poems

I'm the last man standing

I hope to go on till the end

Dust

Sometimes I wonder if anything really matters
Probably nothing does, we're but a speck of dust

Floating through infinite continuum of spacetime
Nothing can be saved, nothing will forever last

But may be that's what makes it all so precious
It's now or never, since the moment won't return

Flowers in a garden

Osho was right when he said
Falling in love with someone
Is akin to admiring a flower
In a garden along one's path

It's fine to be truly inspired
But to desire for possession
Is a grave crime committed
Plucking it to keep in a vase

No matter how marvelous
Flower will look displayed
It'll wither away to waste
And it'll be soon replaced

Instead if we just awaken
To build our own garden
Someday it might bloom
With a glorious blossom

Lyrics of 'Today' by Peacock Affect

Sharing lyrics of one of my favourite songs.

Today

I saw you today
And I don't know if you noticed me
You kept walking away
You kept going the wrong way
When I want to know
What do you think of me?
And why 
Does this always happen to me?

It's been years...

I saw you with your group
You noticed me first 
Goosebumps and shivers down my spine 
Making me want to cry
With the emotion you flooded me
So many awful memories
Now can you look me in the eye? 
And say I haven't changed

by Peacock Affect

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ohzx4shP8EM

Spark

The spark was always there
Embers were still lighted up
The brew was yet simmering

The tune was in the making
Waiting for the final album
To bring forth the swan song

Painting the Sun

I was often painting the sun
Shining yellow with a smile

Bright green grass below
And clear blue skies above

But that's not where I live
It's an alien world beyond

So I've changed my palette
My colours are grey tinged

I paint my musty smoky city
Snippets from overcast past

Then brush flows more freely
I can finally be true to myself

Smell

I was so getting too used to
AC buses for daily commute
But yesterday I lost patience
Waiting for my usual Volvo

I decided to take regular bus
On the same route for change
This was not populated with
Sleek IT crowd with backpacks

It was filled with wage earners
The ones who count their money
Earned with hard toil every day
Whom city's glitterati looks away

Suddenly I was so surrounded
With several unfamiliar smells
Unlike the perfumed AC bus air
I felt completely overwhelmed

The open windows brought in
Car fumes and stink of garbage
Smell of my co-passengers' sweat
Mixed with scent of rain on earth

I again felt connected with real
Of the city's struggle and grime
Which swank city malls can't hide
And expanding skyline can't wipe

Losing memories

I'm losing my memory
I can't recall the tunes
I composed or words
Written how long back?

But it's likely better
Things submerged
And sunk to depths 
Of subconsciousness

I'm losing memories
I can't recall names
Feelings I once felt
Are lost and blurred

Another place

At another world
Parallel universe
Somewhere else

Flowers still bloom
The air is still fresh
Sunlight falls tender

Your laughter remains
Like a sparkling stream
Pure water effervescent

Another lost world
A parallel universe
Life's just happiness

Upon a hill

By now I've climbed
A small desolate hill
All bare and isolated
But at least it's mine

Pausing at the hilltop
I caught up my breath
Sitting on a rock's edge
I could see the horizon

In the faint twilight
I could barely trace
My stony uphill path
I had trudged along

Yet I reached here
But there's hardly
Much to hold on to
In this barren hill

I could slowly figure
There are mountains
Inviting me up ahead
Pushing me to move on

Sometimes

Sometimes my tongue slips
And I call out your name
Into the darkness of night

Sometimes your memory 
Seeps into the oblivion
Of my daily hum drum

Sometimes I wonder
If it is you that I seek
Or it's my imagination

Of a time that never was
Things that never existed
But I formed to find respite

Leaving behind

I guess it was meant to be

I had much to leave behind

Haunting all my memories

And my dreams to ever find

The school classroom where

I flipped pages in dull noons

My first watch gifted by dad

Whose strap broke too soon

The winding train journeys

From home to design school

Carrying homemade sweets

For my classmates to drool

Getting my first earning

Although worth peanuts

Holding loved one's hand

Losing trust with bit fuss

First apartment I'd rented

Decorating it with posters

Then one fine day packing 

Leaving behind no marks

Alive

Muted, I've quietened
I'm still, but I'm alive

Notebook

I'd written my best poetry
When I was madly in love

Doors of my heart opened
Awaiting someone to enter

Words flowed like a breeze
Shaking myself from within

Door has now been closed
I sit beside closed windows

Gasping for a stray words
To fill an empty notebook

Meaningless

Life is meaningless
How could it ever be
Anything otherwise

Meaning is too big
A word to rest upon
Consequences heavy

Delicate as a feather
Life drifts by across
From shore to shore

Done

My work is done
Now I can pause
To retire in peace

Let echoes carry
Out my messages
My voice is feeble

Exhausted I rest
My work is done
Let it endure on

Scattered

My energy was scattered
In hundreds of directions
A tug of war kept me tied
Pull of infinite distractions

But I was luckily blessed
With divine intervention
The strings of desire cut
Freed from the quicksand

I had gasped and struggled
The slimy mud throttled me
But I grabbed a helping hand
And pulled myself slowly out

Carved in stone

Even if you search

You won’t find me

Now I’m beyond

A river uncrossed

So I etched words

Carved upon stone

You’ll see my glimpse

Whenever you glance

Dopamine

Life is a roller-coaster
Because of Dopamine
Excitement of the highs
Brings us crushing lows

For it we crave novelty
Be it food or new shoes
But higher one climbs
Harder will be the fall

And a cycle continues
Driving our decisions
We crave more n more
Yet less n less satisfied

Intention

Too much intention
Does cause tension
Whatever happens
Is just meant to be

Whenever I'd tried
Bit much too hard
I've invariably so
Missed my mark

But whenever I
Went with flow
And let things be
I found treasure

Love

All my life I yearned
For moments of love
I searched, I pursued
And was disappointed

Now I've crossed a barrier
On other side I'm married
Now I see I was mistaken
Love's within, not outside

Blurred

I really don't recall 
When it happened
The lines got blurred
Between you and me

I can't distinguish
Amongst ourselves
Yesterday and today
All has merged to one

Floating in the sea
Of space and time
I sense waves pass
Everywhere around

Turning thirty

I turned thirty a while back
Looked back on the journey
All that lead to where I am

I truly have been very lucky
To have experienced all I did
Chase my dreams, fall in love

Not that I made much of it
I was never a great success
But loss teaches us so much

Now the tides are reversing
I have to swim backwards
To stay afloat even in flux

Market

If we would stop pretending
For few moments a little bit
We'll all agree to one thing

The world is just a market
We are all out for best deal
It's cut-throat to state least

It's salesmen and bargainers
Who reach top society's cream
Romanticists feed from dreams

And here lies the greatest irony
Base reason for any transaction
Is the search for some fulfillment

That's what material can't fulfill
Comfort and excitement may be
But fulfillment comes from within

Trail of flowers

I guess we were meant to part
Thousands of miles separate us

But I left behind a trail of flowers
For you to follow, to ever find me

Every one of my poems a blossom
Crossing distance between hearts

Washed ashore

I was washed ashore
On a calm quiet beach
In an unknown island

Gulped a lot of seawater
I coughed to catch breath
My memories were vague

Got shipwrecked midway
Can't recall how I made it
Alive from all the wreck

The new island promises
Hope for my sustenance
There's much to explore

Nothing of my old travels
Remain but untrue stories
Now's time to begin afresh

Speak

I wished to speak my mind
Break boundaries doing so
But the mind is the barrier
Greatest one there ever is

But then how to transcend
Mind's futile endeavours
Escape maze of thoughts
Find the source of origin

Unbound and truly free
Without any distinction
Everything everywhere
All ever encompassing

I wished to speak my mind
It was my point of poetry
But words form barriers
Silence can say all there is

Sunday

The pressure cooker blows its whistle
Breaking silence of a quiet day alone
Lazy weekend best woken post noon
In a messy room which feels so home

Away from the piling office workload
Few moments of bliss to be on my own
Free from a world of disappointments
Cooking a mushy meal to barely suffice 

The cooker off the flame hisses quietly
Open window displays a tireless road
The afternoon evokes such bliss within
I wish this time could stretch evermore

Face to face

I'm face to face with my life
Questioning myself deeply
A few weeks to my oblivion
Life is a sincere revelation

I realize I'm such a fool
I have achieved nothing
And the world is beyond
My futile grasp to hold

My nerves are bit shaky
Nights slightly dreamy
I see several flashbacks
Lost corners of memory

The day I sat on the beach
Waves roaring as I held
Tiny seashells lost in sand
Riddled with many colors

And this vision tells much
About my past, present
And my upcoming future
Which now slowly unfolds

Roaring sea of uncertainty
Will always be threatening
But will still wash seashells
For us to cherish and keep