In my dreams

In my dreams
I see you a lot clearer.
I see you unmasked,
Not clouded by my desires...

In my dreams, you speak
You tell me the truth;
While in reality the silence
Between us gets deeper.

Slowly reality
Loses its meaning...
Who am I? Where?
What am I here for?

But in my dreams
There is a reason,
I have a purpose...
I know you'd come!

Someday, not too far away...
I'll escape this grey reality,
And reach my world of dreams...
For that, Death you are welcome.

It's raining in our IDC campus... Photo by batch-mate Swati

I am

I am
What I am
My insanity
Is mine
It breaks me
Yet keeps me going
All the same

Darkness falls

Window

I was looking out of the window,
After our basics electronics class...
It was long since I'd given up studies
Except passing semester exams...

There were shreds of paper,
Some old photos someone had torn,
And thrown out of the window...
Some still dangling on the parapet.

I attended class only to get attendance,
My usual seat was at the back corner...
Head down, mind lost in jarring thoughts;
As I'd watch you snuggling up with your boyfriend.

It wasn't always like this before...
Even few months ago, we were great friends,
You'd even wait patiently, while I'd set up
My drum kit for college band rehearsals...

But times change, so do people...
And before I knew you pushed me away,
I was begging and pleading for you to stay...
Then after a failed suicide, I quietened down.

The last few semesters in college
Went in a buzz, we both avoided one another
You knew I wasn't taking it well,
So there wasn't another word uttered...

Recession hit after we graduated,
Our job offers got delayed...
After many quiet days idling at home
I decided to finish drawing my comics...

There seemed no hope anywhere,
Lost and dazed I gave CEED exam...
And viola! I hit the bulls eye!
Series of procedures then IDC admission.

But what was even more strange,
You became a GATE topper too...
And joined Masters in Computer Science
In same IIT Bombay campus!

It felt so weird...
But we didn't talk much again,
In spite of living in same campus...
For the next couple of years!

But it feels good to know
You are doing so well now,
A respected lecturer in our old college...
And a busy home-maker at Kolkata.

Times change, so do people...
And what was so painful in the past,
Now gives me a few good laughs!
I find peace, and my faith is restored.

myself 3rd year engg college at computer lab!

I'm glad

I'm glad it happened this way...
Sometimes you need to get lost to find your way!

I'm glad there wasn't a formal goodbye...
I'll wait and watch the world and time pass by.

I'm glad I totally broke down...
Got time to ponder and listen to the fading sounds...

The echoes and reverberation...
Break my silence, and give me a reason to fight annihilation!

Swan song

With a half finished poem in my laptop, I decide to stop writing poems for now. And it's not a hasty decision... I had started writing inspired by someone, with the objective to vent out my repressed feelings over the years. And I think I just did that, with some repercussions that weren't so pleasant. And it was quite a vulnerable journey for me... Every poem unleashed a lot of emotional turmoil, which lasted for days after I finished writing each one. In fact I still haven't fully recovered from my last poem to say the least...

But then life goes on... And time waits for no one!

The image I placed with is post was the pivotal scene of my alleged first animation short film during my Design course in IDC. I couldn't really finish it to perfection... And this sketch remains to me as a symbol of all my unrequited dreams... Of home, family, love and belonging.

'Home is where your heart is', they say... So true! I think I lost my heart long ago... and am yet to find it again.

Anyways, so while my brief stint with poetry ends... I'll get back to finishing what I had always dreamt of - a trilogy of graphic novels! I had already made my first serious comicbook on Ruskin Bond's 'The Kite Maker'.

Now my plan is to take up a romantic short story by the genius writer Bonoful, before my Swan song - 'Chuti' by Rabindranath Tagore. Shall keep my blog updated with my progress as I go ahead with it!

A day to remember

Yes, It was a day to remember,
I hadn't expected it to be so...
Miracles do happen sometimes,
Treasure comes knocking your door!

I had become such a loner,
Warped in my distorted world...
But a wild gust of wind came and
My stifling shell was upturned!

There was something about you
That had stirred me within,
Made me shed my darkness...
See colours I had never seen!

We'd met only a few times before,
When time seemed to stop its flow...
Hours would pass like seconds,
Before you'd tell you had to go...

But this time it was different,
Although everything now felt so new...
To spend an entire day with you
Was really such a dream come true!

It was only supposed to be for work,
Recording soundtrack for your project.
But as long as you were next to me,
Nothing else really had much effect...

I had just moved into a new place,
A room in a shared apartment with friends,
Located in a quiet neighbourhood,
Meant we could finish recording in silence...

Two days earlier I got my list ready,
Things to move, stuff to buy.
Dusting, scrubbing and washing...
Time seemed to just fly!

Then finally the day arrived,
I was all nervous and sweaty,
But once you came and smiled...
I was completely at ease.

As you entered my world,
My room ushered with a glow!
You occupied my personal workspace,
Work and conversations all went in flow...

And I didn't even realize when...
Sunlight faded, the day was over!
It was getting dark outside
And you couldn't stay much longer...

But thankfully the work was done,
And the editing could be done later...
You were happy at our progress,
To celebrate I strummed my guitar...

Dinner at a favourite restaurant,
And so much more to talk...
We'd never run out of topics,
Be it friends, art, design or rock...

A walk till your nearest landmark,
Then you were gone...
I walked back my four miles,
With a smile that's yet to be undone!