Darkness falls

Window

I was looking out of the window,
After our basics electronics class...
It was long since I'd given up studies
Except passing semester exams...

There were shreds of paper,
Some old photos someone had torn,
And thrown out of the window...
Some still dangling on the parapet.

I attended class only to get attendance,
My usual seat was at the back corner...
Head down, mind lost in jarring thoughts;
As I'd watch you snuggling up with your boyfriend.

It wasn't always like this before...
Even few months ago, we were great friends,
You'd even wait patiently, while I'd set up
My drum kit for college band rehearsals...

But times change, so do people...
And before I knew you pushed me away,
I was begging and pleading for you to stay...
Then after a failed suicide, I quietened down.

The last few semesters in college
Went in a buzz, we both avoided one another
You knew I wasn't taking it well,
So there wasn't another word uttered...

Recession hit after we graduated,
Our job offers got delayed...
After many quiet days idling at home
I decided to finish drawing my comics...

There seemed no hope anywhere,
Lost and dazed I gave CEED exam...
And viola! I hit the bulls eye!
Series of procedures then IDC admission.

But what was even more strange,
You became a GATE topper too...
And joined Masters in Computer Science
In same IIT Bombay campus!

It felt so weird...
But we didn't talk much again,
In spite of living in same campus...
For the next couple of years!

But it feels good to know
You are doing so well now,
A respected lecturer in our old college...
And a busy home-maker at Kolkata.

Times change, so do people...
And what was so painful in the past,
Now gives me a few good laughs!
I find peace, and my faith is restored.

myself 3rd year engg college at computer lab!

I'm glad

I'm glad it happened this way...
Sometimes you need to get lost to find your way!

I'm glad there wasn't a formal goodbye...
I'll wait and watch the world and time pass by.

I'm glad I totally broke down...
Got time to ponder and listen to the fading sounds...

The echoes and reverberation...
Break my silence, and give me a reason to fight annihilation!

Swan song

With a half finished poem in my laptop, I decide to stop writing poems for now. And it's not a hasty decision... I had started writing inspired by someone, with the objective to vent out my repressed feelings over the years. And I think I just did that, with some repercussions that weren't so pleasant. And it was quite a vulnerable journey for me... Every poem unleashed a lot of emotional turmoil, which lasted for days after I finished writing each one. In fact I still haven't fully recovered from my last poem to say the least...

But then life goes on... And time waits for no one!

The image I placed with is post was the pivotal scene of my alleged first animation short film during my Design course in IDC. I couldn't really finish it to perfection... And this sketch remains to me as a symbol of all my unrequited dreams... Of home, family, love and belonging.

'Home is where your heart is', they say... So true! I think I lost my heart long ago... and am yet to find it again.

Anyways, so while my brief stint with poetry ends... I'll get back to finishing what I had always dreamt of - a trilogy of graphic novels! I had already made my first serious comicbook on Ruskin Bond's 'The Kite Maker'.

Now my plan is to take up a romantic short story by the genius writer Bonoful, before my Swan song - 'Chuti' by Rabindranath Tagore. Shall keep my blog updated with my progress as I go ahead with it!

A day to remember

Yes, It was a day to remember,
I hadn't expected it to be so...
Miracles do happen sometimes,
Treasure comes knocking your door!

I had become such a loner,
Warped in my distorted world...
But a wild gust of wind came and
My stifling shell was upturned!

There was something about you
That had stirred me within,
Made me shed my darkness...
See colours I had never seen!

We'd met only a few times before,
When time seemed to stop its flow...
Hours would pass like seconds,
Before you'd tell you had to go...

But this time it was different,
Although everything now felt so new...
To spend an entire day with you
Was really such a dream come true!

It was only supposed to be for work,
Recording soundtrack for your project.
But as long as you were next to me,
Nothing else really had much effect...

I had just moved into a new place,
A room in a shared apartment with friends,
Located in a quiet neighbourhood,
Meant we could finish recording in silence...

Two days earlier I got my list ready,
Things to move, stuff to buy.
Dusting, scrubbing and washing...
Time seemed to just fly!

Then finally the day arrived,
I was all nervous and sweaty,
But once you came and smiled...
I was completely at ease.

As you entered my world,
My room ushered with a glow!
You occupied my personal workspace,
Work and conversations all went in flow...

And I didn't even realize when...
Sunlight faded, the day was over!
It was getting dark outside
And you couldn't stay much longer...

But thankfully the work was done,
And the editing could be done later...
You were happy at our progress,
To celebrate I strummed my guitar...

Dinner at a favourite restaurant,
And so much more to talk...
We'd never run out of topics,
Be it friends, art, design or rock...

A walk till your nearest landmark,
Then you were gone...
I walked back my four miles,
With a smile that's yet to be undone!

The yellow bicycle

A month after classes started,
Our hostel rooms were allotted...
Then your new cycle arrived,
Its yellow and chrome shined!

At first I was a bit disheartened,
It meant no more lifts or shared auto...
To traverse our sprawling campus,
A mile between hostel and classroom!

But soon it became a symbol of relief,
Seeing it in our department parking...
Meant you'd be there before me,
And classes wouldn't be just as boring!

After classes you'd hop in and fly away
Often bringing back food from mess...
And the hungry hordes back at lab,
Would gulp it down within seconds!

Once I found you all flustered,
Was the bike lost or stolen?
But after a frantic search in campus...
It was found parked and forgotten!

But wasn't always so fortunate,
For once we quarreled, my phone silent...
And then the bike crashed with you,
I was out of reach and you were hurt...

Later how I hated myself,
For being so inconsiderate...
And just not being there,
When you needed me by fate...

When you returned from hospital,
Bandages and broken nail of a toe...
So much pain and anguish,
Few drops of vodka relieved you so...

But you were back on your feet next day,
And the cycle bells rang the same way...
Its been more than a few years since then,
We graduated and the cycle packed away...

Now only a fading memory remains,
Of you and your yellow bicycle...
Bright yellow glowing in the sun
And the shrill ringing of its bell...

My first love

It's hard to recall,
It's been so long ago...
You were 14 and I 15,
Classmates at same school...

To everyone it was an impossible match,
How could the school topper,
Fall for a dreamer, an artist at heart?
Yet we did, and became a school legend!

You were so tall and proud,
The teachers adored you...
But I stooped low... a misfit,
But for my paintings, I was loved too!

I loved your husky voice,
Your humour, your mild perfume...
You topped every exam,
While I struggled to stay afloat...

Years passed,
But our charisma remained...
We were both mysteries,
In our own worlds...

Only with you
I would really talk,
For hours and hours...
While you'd gently nod.

Tough times came,
Board and competitive exams....
I barely managed decent scores,
While you were all India topper!

You went to a premier medical school,
In Pondichery... beautiful campus...
I got into a rotten private college,
But it was walking distance from home.

I sent you long loving letters,
You would reply too...
But one day you lied,
And decided to call it off...

I didn't understand...
I didn't know what to do...
But you were firm,
Yet your voice cracked...

The last phone call,
I told I loved you...
You cried...
And it was all...

Many many years later,
When you were getting married,
Again you gave me a call...
I didn't come... I couldn't stand it at all.